Oh How He Loves

I have known God as Maker, Guide, Teacher, and Father. But I have never known Jesus as lover...my Beloved. I always thought it kind of strange for people to think of Him that way.

  

   Lately I find myself glancing up into a chandelier or something and suddenly knowing the warmth of His gaze. Like a girl who glances to see who walked in the door and catches her Significant Other smiling at her from a distance. It makes your heart stop.

  When I feel down about something the Holy Spirit whispers some comforting thing to my heart and I smile a secret smile--knowing something no one else can see from the external--I am in love. 

  Sometimes I share jokes with Jesus. I laugh about something and I know He think its funny that I am humored by something so small. After all, He has a Great sense of humor quite unlike our finite human humor. 

  When I am trying to sacrifice something to Him and feel self-pity I sometimes think He winks at me as if to say, "In the big picture this is so small. You can do it!" Then I smile with Him at my own silliness and the sacrifice becomes so much easier. 

  He loves doing little things to take care of me.  

I had been struggling through some stuff the first week of the tour and had been keeping a record of my thoughts and feelings in a little blue notebook. When I had had enough I finally decided to surrender my struggle to Jesus and woke up the next morning feeling so free and happy and at peace. Well, I wrote down these things in my little book too and finished with the words: "Jesus has covered it with Grace and has given me liberty. I am so happy!"

  Then I set the little book down on the dock I was sitting on. As I did so a huge gust of wind picked up the book and threw it into the water! As I watched it float away I knew that Jesus was saying, "Its finished. You learned the lesson and won't forget it. Let it go."

  It was the most beautiful object lesson He has taught me.

Also this morning we had a really early call time but my room mates and I decided we wanted to get up at 6am and talk a walk to see the sunrise on the bay. My alarm rang at 6 this morning and Jesus told me not to get up yet, so I didn't. I found out when I got up 45 minutes later that it was raining outside and the we couldn't have gone anyways. If I had gotten up I wouldn't have been able to go back to sleep. Jesus knew just what I needed!

There is nothing I can say to express how much I treasure my Savior's love. But, Oh! How He loves His children!

  

Patient Contentment

Dear friends, there is nothing harder than wanting something good and yet having to wait for the right time, right person, right circumstance. Marriage is a beautiful thing that God created for His children and its something He wants to give us in the right time, with the right person, etc. However, as believers, most often our first and most primary task is to wait. Ultimately we wait for Christ's second coming, "Come quickly!" and "Even so, Lord Jesus, come!" are the cries of the apostles.
   I am still just a freshman, and I have always thought it would be wiser to hold off on any serious relationships until I'm close to finishing college. But most of my close companions at school are upperclassmen and have their own love interests. I watch them grow close to each other, I support them with prayer daily, I am constantly reminded of my singleness by their unity. Not that singleness is undesirable. Rather, I haven't yet learned to treasure it. I pray that I may. But the natural desire for a husband remains.
  The council of my friends and parents is golden.
One brother encouraged me with words I will not soon forget: "We must be patient. But we must be content to be patient."
  Also one of the directors told us (in a morning devotional), "The Bible says, "Thy word is a lamp to my feet" not a light beam to the end of life."
  My favorite hymn remains to be, "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
                                                        Just to take Him at His word,
                                                       Just to rest upon His promise
                                                      And to know, "Thus saith the Lord."


                                                        

O Speak To Me

There is a song that the men of Moody Chorale sing in our concerts called O Speak To Me which was a Chopin piece that Dick Anthony put words to. In the words of our director, Gerald Edmonds, "You're not going to get any better with words, and you're not going to get any better with music..." This is good stuff!
Here are the words:
  O speak to me from heav'n above, 
  Fill Thou my soul,
  That I may know Thy love,
  Thy wondrous love,
  Hush my heart to hear Thy faintest whisper.
  Speak dear Lord, speak dear Lord.


  O may my will  be lost in Thine
  My yielded heart to Thee I now resign
  Speak Lord I pray
  Let the flood-tide of Thy glory
  Like a mighty sea sweep o're me
  While I worship and adore Thy name,
  Precious Holy name
  Thru eternal years the same.


  O speak to me from calvary
  Where Thou, O Christ, 
  Didst shed Thy blood for me, in agony
  Speak of Thy undying mercy to me
  There out poured, precious Lord
  O melt my heart, 
  With Calv'ry love
  Burn out the dross with fire from above
  
  Speak Lord I pray,
  Speak from Calv'ry I implore Thee
  Keep that vision e'er before me
  While I worship and adore Thy name!
  Thy matchless name,
  Precious Holy name
  Thru eternal years the same.

Foundations

I wake up around seven, get a shower, eat breakfast, and lug my suitcase into the church.  Then we warm up with some calisthenics and do our vocal rehearsal. After this its time to load the bus and head out to another church where we unload, set up, get dressed, eat dinner and then have our performance. After a concert we pair up with our host homes and try to get some sleep before it starts all over again.
   There are moments of peace and quiet--like the other morning when the weather was beautiful and Olivia gave us twenty minutes to go outside and spend with God and the warm sunshine. I was so overwhelmed by the piercing light and God's radiant glory that...I fell asleep.
   In the rush and bustle and the adventure of it all I feel like my soul is out of place and that I'm not as focused on Christ as I should be. The concerts are physically and spiritually draining and I know I need to find my strength in the Lord. This is tough and I realize I've been relying on the devout people around me at school to help me be grounded in my Foundation. This tour has been pulling all that out in the open and I know that God is using this to help me hide myself in Him. I am fully convinced that until I am able to be strong and confident in my faith both alone and with other believers I will not be a mature person.
  That is an uncomfortable concession for some people to make. But I simply have taken Paul's words literally, "when I was a child I did childish things, but when I became a (woman) I put away childish things."

Moody Chorale tours the S.E.

Moody Chorale consists of about fifty students--both music majors and Bible majors--who enjoy spreading the gospel and illustrating the beauty of Scripture through song. I am privileged to be a member and join them in touring the south east states--Arkansas, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Kentucky.
   Last night we arrived in Forrest City, Arkansas where we met up with the folks at the First Baptist church, had dinner, and then separated into small groups and went home with some of the church members who were so kind in hosting us. Lynnette Emme (pronounced em-mee) and I stayed with a wonderful lady named Mrs. Walker. We sat and talked for awhile in her comfy living room decorated with an old fashioned couch and matching blue lazy boys situated opposite the TV--just like at my Great Grandma's house growing up. Her husband had been in the navy and she had a lot of stories to tell about the days when she didn't have anywhere to stay because he'd been re-stationed and she found a room in the YWCA. Mrs. Walker seemed to be lonely and it was lovely getting to spend time with her talking about our school in the city and her adventurous young life back when--she had many fond memories to tell us. Before I went to bed she came in and took the heavy crocheted covering off the bed--which was just decoration--and mentioned that her Grandma had made the delicate masterpiece by hand!
     This morning we had our first concert. The church sanctuary was large and had stained glass windows set in the walls. I love old churches like that and can almost always guess what they'll look like on the inside because the era they were built in resembled a certain pattern of architecture that is pretty continuous.
  I think the concert went well, though I didn't feel at my best on some of the songs. I always wonder why Mr. Ed let me into the Chorale because I really am not at the level of the other first sopranos--I suppose he realized that I would learn and absorb some of the other girl's skills. I hope so!
   It was wonderful to be able to sing from my heart about the goodness of God to people who are my sisters and brothers--yet people that I have never met before and probably will not meet again on this side of heaven. I heard some amazing testimonies of God's faithfulness and redemption from them, and I sensed that our music was received as praise to God and not performance for them. I am so glad.
That, after all, is the whole point of this tour...if we were traveling about simply to showcase our skills and good effort, what a waste of time that would be! How worthless!
 Only when God gets the glory are the songs that we sing of any value in light of eternity.
To Him be all praise, honor, and majesty!
Amen.

Is God Concerned about my Homework???

After a long day spent tying up all my loose ends before heading out on Spring tour with the Moody Chorale this weekend, I am reminded of how faithful God really is. 

    Homework is something I don't usually fret about--and while that appear to be procrastination--I'm convinced that God has been in charge of my chaotic work load all this semester. No wonder I'm not overwhelmed and yet this is midterm week! Speaking of midterms, I had one this last monday, though I didn't remember this at the time. I went in to class as usual, half-asleep, having spent the previous night catching up with my family in Texas via Skype. (wonderful invention, by the way) 

   Suddenly the tense atmosphere in the classroom got to me as the students waited for our professor to arrive. I saw a few of my classmates scanning their notes and wondered, "Did I miss something?"

I had indeed forgotten that Music Theory II was having a midterm that day. "Oh, well," I thought "I'll do my best." But I also said a quick prayer and hoped God had known what He was doing when He forgot to remind me about my test. Funny thing is, I got an A on the exam.

   Another one of those fortunate little breakthroughs happened just this evening. All last week I spent several hours in Doane's computer lab composing a nice little song for a music class assignment. I wrote a poem and decided on a melody and chord structure, and I made sure I had the required sixteen measures. Tuesday I went into class with my assignment--due anytime this week--all printed out with my name on it. Dr. Rownd happened to mention that our "Love song to Jesus" needed to have two dominant sevenths in it. I realized I'd forgotten that stipulation and was a dominant seventh short! 

    So I kept it on the front of my mind like a sticky note stuck to my desk--"rework the keyboarding assignment."

   Finally, Thursday night--very last minute--I ran into the computer lab and prayed for a miracle. It takes me forever to get anything done on the Finale software and being a perfectionist AND an idealist I tend to make things as hard as possible on my composing. I had an hour till curfew and--all the praise to God--I got the assignment done. Oh, did I mention I started from scratch and composed an entirely new piece, lyrics and everything? Yeah, God is awesome.

    Well, tomorrow I'm supposed to have gotten into a small group for my Contemporary Islam class and decided what topic to write a research paper on. I guess I should be worried about the fact that the one person I talked to about partnering with is auditing the class and couldn't help me. Maybe I should be concerned about the fact that I haven't a clue what my topic should be for this paper. I don't know...perhaps this is just a little bit too big for God to handle in less than 24 hours. 

What do you think?

Failing Predictions

Failing Predictions

In honor of Dr. Edwin Timothy Childs

Ha! Dear doctor

I know you said

I fell into paraplegics,

I should be dead.

Indeed at least

I'll never leave my bed.

But did you know I walked today?

I walked from the bedroom

To hear those political Donkeys bray

on Television.

Ha! Good doctor

Did you hear the latest news?

I was able to bend down and put on my shoes.

In fact though you warned me

I'd never walk

I'm starting to think maybe

That was just talk

I walked in to see you!

Ha! Friend, doctor

Do you remember me?

I'm the dude who fell out of a tree!

Is this strapping young person

Who I'm supposed to be?

Well, maybe not strapping

But you know what I mean.

Supposed to be dead!

Knocked over the head!

There's nothing on earth I've heard funnier said.

Ha! Brother, doctor

Did I mention that these

My hands, fingers, and toes

Now function as ordinary as prose?

Did I say that I played

My beloved organ again the other day?

Did I fail to mention

Your most fatal prediction

Was little more than fiction

As good as that guy Dickens

Compared to what I play!

Ha! Forgive me, doctor

If I again indulge

In laudative repose

on your couch.

I just can't get over the fact

That this old man who'd gone "splat"

Is now using his fingers and toes!

My speech must coherently grow

In praise of that God who made you

A doctor among doctors

Only able to

Make unfailingly failing predictions!

The month was April and the flowers were about to bloom. Dr. Edwin T. Childs, professor of music at Moody, was trimming trees in his backyard. The ladder he was standing on slid away from the tree, and falling with it, Dr. Childs slammed his head against the wood deck below. The nerves on the right side of his brain suffered severe damage. Two months later Dr. Childs woke up in a hospital bed a paraplegic.

Since then years have passed, during which miracle after miracle has occurred, strengthening faith and bringing God glory. Dr. Childs has seen the best cranial specialists and movement therapists. He has gone from being a "lifeless blob," as he put it, to teaching and playing music, both of which were deemed nearly impossible for him. He wasn't supposed to ever leave his bed. The triumph of his testimony through this trail is uplifting.

Yet there is one thing that he, and those who know him best, must struggle with. While he has regained the ability to walk, teach, play the organ, and use his left arm and hand, Dr. Childs is not completely healed. In fact he only lacks movement in his left pinky finger. The question implied is unavoidable. God's goodness seems to be placed on the line.

In Dr. Child's words, "He [God] could have decided, "Well, you're putting your trust in acupuncture, I'll do something about it too." Wham! Completely healed. But it didn't happen. Instead He says, "I'm going to give you a test, Ed. Just because you can't get your little finger back, blame Me. It's all My fault that you can't do that. I gave you [movement in] three...you couldn't do any of them. And it's My fault you can't do that fourth one. You had a very fine acupuncturist and his goal was for you to get all four of them down. So, who are you going to blame? You have the finest neurological people working on your brain. You can't blame them, because I gave them the brains to be the very best. But you can blame Me, Ed. Go ahead.""

Blame God? That sounds familiar. Maybe we've read about that somewhere before. Dr. Childs, like Job, is far from blaming God. This is the real triumph of his testimony. More than the fact that he can move his leg and arm and three fingers, the fact that he can't move the fourth finger and yet still knows God is good is a powerful faith statement. It took him years of lying on his back in a hospital bed, being pushed around in a wheel chair, and sitting at the keyboard of an silent organ unable to play, to understand this. His answer to the eternal question of "why?" is: "God is good." His hope for the future is: "God is good." And his encouragement to other believers who struggle with this concept of God's goodness is: "Heaven? No brains required. Instead, new bodies will be given to us. God is good!"

Student Dining Room

SDR

There was nothing so great

'Bout the apple I ate

In the SDR

There's nothing too fine

About standing in line

At the SDR

There are very few toasts

A diplomat could boast

To the SDR

But when you do think

And you get on the brink

Of the SDR

You might find some food

If you try not to be rude

About the SDR

Student Dining Rooms

Arn't meant to be Whining Rooms

So 'Sip de Rice'

And be real nice

In the SDR

Three Inspirational Poems

Three Inspirational Poems~

Let Me

A Prayer

Let this face, upturned

Reflect the light of heaven.

Let these hands, fresh washed

In blood, help cleanse the hearts of men.

Let these lips, speak words not their own

To turn the lost from their way.

Let my walk, mirror His

Who follows paths of holiness.

Let this heart, wait patient~

For the day I will wake in likeness of

Your purity.

Amen.

So be it unto me!

Great God, Unsearchable

Reflections on Isaiah 40:28-31

You asked me if I'd heard or known

How greatly You sit on Your throne,

How awesome is Your painted sky

And Your love, my alibi.

Your understanding You describe

As unsearchable, and when I

Look on the sky, from my high perch

I know its true, You cannot lie.

Indeed the entire universe

Proclaims your might

In eloquent verse

Both day and night!

Gently you do prod me

Asking "Have you heard?"

And truly I must answer

Your Greatness exceeds the word~

That told to me did promise

Might and power to the weak

And a never failing shower

Of Your presence and Your peace.

Can I help but trust in You?

You are great God, unsearchable

Your ways are high and pure

I know that You are able

To keep me from Death's lure.

I'll see You in the dark times

In the easy, with me You'll walk

And lead me on to victory

To You I'll always call.

I am Your child, great God unsearchable.

Teach Me

Fear, my Lord,

Your love casts out

So make me perfect

Without doubt!

You are prodding,

My heart you're pricking,

My chin is nodding,

But my fear's still sticking.

Is this weak vessel

Strong enough

To hold the damn

Where sin is tough?

Is this weak vessel

Weak enough

To only stand in

Love's simple stuff?

Only You know.

Yet You call me to go.

Teach me now

Your heart, Your way.

Let me in on

That secret stay.

The stay which no force of hell

Can breach~

I am so willing, Lord

Do, kindly teach!

Jesus is My Truest Friend

Jesus is My Truest Friend

To my Savior

Jesus is my truest friend

I know he'll never leave.

And if my road should darken

(Yes, I know that day will come)

He by my side will make pure light

And by this lead me on.

Oh, Savior, friend

My one true love

My life must only end~

When, like You, I rise high above

To live eternal, changed

Even to Your likeness.

Wake me soon~

Oh, wake me very soon!

These thoughts were inspired by one of my favorite passages of scripture: psalms 17:3-8 & 15...

"You have tried my heart, you have visited me by night, you have tested me, and you will find nothing; I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress. With regard to the words of man, by the word of your lips I have avoided the ways of the violence. My steps have held fast to your paths; my feet have not slipped. I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God; incline your ear to me; hear my words. Wondrously show your steadfast love, O Savior of those who see refuge from their adversaries at your right hind. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings...As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness; when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness."

I can't wait until I wake up in the morning that the Lord will come and find all my struggle for purity and striving to keep myself holy finished. By finished I mean complete. What a day that will be!