Lessons in Intimidation

Camp has become ingrained--and I really am missing home, while feeling like this is family at the same time. I have finally gotten used to Montana's sudden storms that materialize out of a clear sky within minutes. I have gotten used to people teasing me and learned to not take everything so seriously. I've learned to fail and let it roll off my back. I've learned my own limits of energy and strength.

This week has been very interesting also because I am not counseling and other stuff's been going on. Last week I got pretty burned out and asked Pat if I could have this week off of counseling. I'm still doing music and leading worship, but I got sick on Tuesday and was extremely grateful that I didn't have a cabin and had enough time off each day to take long naps and get rested up.

Sunday I got myself into some trouble. Well, you could call it that, but it hasn't bit me back too much as of yet. So, to explain: there's this guy here at camp--the director's son--named Jordan, who is pretty famous for pranking. In previous years he has stolen girl's clothes and frozen them solid. He's put green dye in people's shampoo. He and his dad have dunked people in the kitchen sink, etc. This summer he got his girlfriend all wet and then covered her in flour. So, there's a lot of people here who won't mess with him.

So Sunday the staff went out to the Rolando's for dinner. All the previous staff hid their shoes inside the house, but us newbies left ours outside on the porch. Well, after dinner we discovered that Jordan--according to tradition--had pitched all our shoes off the porch into the yard. So I asked his dad where his shoes were at. Then I went, right before time to leave, and put two hand-fulls of ice in the toes of his shoes. He was so mad! Later I told him it was me--he hadn't even suspected me--and he said he was going to get me back. So all week we've been going back and forth with little pranks and his haven't really worked very well. I've got all my stuff hidden and I've got lots of spies on him. Hehehe.
Its been really fun and even though sometimes he comes up to me and is really intimidating, I've learned that there's not really much he can do to me and so I shouldn't be afraid.

I hate to turn this into a spiritual lesson, but you know me! I was thinking the other day about Jordan and I's prank war. And just like he can be intimidating because he's bigger, faster, and stronger than me...I know I don't have to be afraid because I'm evidently smarter than him! So in the same way I ought to think of the enemy. I've been afraid of demons for awhile and this has often tormented me very miserably, especially if I'm along at night. But I know that the enemy can't do anything to me. And so I don't have to be afraid of him. Not because I'm smarter than him, but because Jesus has overcome him and has given me that victory.

Please pray that I will get well and not have to fight this cold anymore. It makes leading worship and having energy to teach music a challenge. But God is doing His work in spite of my weakness! Also, I'm planning on going home this fall to work. Possibly at a day care teaching music, giving piano lessons to friend's children, etc. I've found out this summer that I love working with kids and want to do this for the rest of my life. God has put it on my heart to have a camp like Trail's End in a foreign country like Kenya or Uganda. So, that's a big interest for me--working with kids--and I hope to keep doing it this fall. Please pray that I get a good job and find the place God wants me to be till I go back to school next Spring.

Update for the Summer #1

Hello friends,

Its been ages since I posted anything. As you read before camp is awesome, the people here are amazing, and I am being challenged and stretched in many good ways. 

  This is my second week counseling. Last week I had eight middle school girls in my cabin. We studied the book of Ruth together and talked about relationships and the way God wants Christians to trust Him for their spouse. Most of the girls had not read Ruth before and found it very interesting. One girl asked me, "So why did you say this was a love story if Boaz only married Ruth for the land?"

I love it when my campers ask questions! (especially if I know the answer...hehe) Well, I explained the last two chapters and how they show that Boaz had been watching Ruth and admired her character and compassion for Naomi. We also talked about how he tricked his relative into deciding not to be the kinsman-redeemer for Ruth, since he really wanted to marry her! The girls really enjoyed the discussion. 

One of my girls that week was having a lot of trouble with understanding the gospel. She was the quiet type and had deep feelings about God and what she'd heard in church and at camp, but didn't know how to put those thoughts and feelings into words. It was very difficult to talk to her about Jesus' love and then let her walk away without accepting Him. I would say that she felt comfortable with me--I didn't push religion on her--but she didn't make any decisions. I am keeping her in prayer. 

This week I have a great cabin of seven high school aged girls. I've been helping counsel one of their sisters, in the cabin next door, who is struggling with a lot of serious issues. She is depressed, has very low self-esteem, etc. Its been a wonderful experience pouring out Christ's love on her and feeling like God is truly using me to reach out. But I am very weak and she has a lot of questions and feelings that don't have a quick answer--I can only help her so much. 

So I'm having to grow in strength and stamina both physically and spiritually. Whenever I get grumpy and feel like a failure and want to quit I remember that I have prayed for God to pour me out, break me, and humble me. He has been doing just that. 

I am having a lot of fun too though. Its not all work and no play. The games here are a blast, I get to paintball some, and the friends I am making are really awesome. I also am learning that liking a guy is not something bad...I guess I always thought before that I had to repress it inside me, try to kill it, and hope that maybe it would go away. But, I think God's been telling me: "Give yourself a break. You're human and thats the way I made you. So enjoy it! Don't do anything stupid, don't put any stock in it, but enjoy it."

   So thats what I've been doing. 

Something else thats been on my mind is how a relationship would work best for me. See, I've kind of figured out how not to do things. I generally learn the hard way, so thats no news to me. But now I've been pondering and praying about what the best way is...for me. I understand that people are individuals and what works for one doesn't always work for another. 

   I'm the kind of person that is so serious about relationships that if I think I like someone and they like me, I immediately start evaluating them as a potential spouse. Now, don't get all scared and run away, guys, because as creepy as that is, I've always known it was a fault and tried to not react that way. I tend to have a lot of internal battles when it comes to boys, if you haven't picked that up yet. 

Well, I was thinking, if there was a way for me to separate in my mind a not-serious relationship and a serious relationship....then I could possibly do better about getting to know someone without getting to deep in a relationship. So I'm actually thinking about dating and then courting if things get that serious. Its an interesting thought to someone like me who has been taught a courtship mindset. But I do believe courtship is still the right way to go. Its just not fool proof and I have proven myself to be a little foolish before. 

Anyways, that my self-relationship counseling for the week. Hopefully I'll get some other's feedback on that as well. For now, I've got the joy of the Lord and the peace that He brings for everything and anything that life will bring.