Hello friends,
Its been ages since I posted anything. As you read before camp is awesome, the people here are amazing, and I am being challenged and stretched in many good ways.
This is my second week counseling. Last week I had eight middle school girls in my cabin. We studied the book of Ruth together and talked about relationships and the way God wants Christians to trust Him for their spouse. Most of the girls had not read Ruth before and found it very interesting. One girl asked me, "So why did you say this was a love story if Boaz only married Ruth for the land?"
I love it when my campers ask questions! (especially if I know the answer...hehe) Well, I explained the last two chapters and how they show that Boaz had been watching Ruth and admired her character and compassion for Naomi. We also talked about how he tricked his relative into deciding not to be the kinsman-redeemer for Ruth, since he really wanted to marry her! The girls really enjoyed the discussion.
One of my girls that week was having a lot of trouble with understanding the gospel. She was the quiet type and had deep feelings about God and what she'd heard in church and at camp, but didn't know how to put those thoughts and feelings into words. It was very difficult to talk to her about Jesus' love and then let her walk away without accepting Him. I would say that she felt comfortable with me--I didn't push religion on her--but she didn't make any decisions. I am keeping her in prayer.
This week I have a great cabin of seven high school aged girls. I've been helping counsel one of their sisters, in the cabin next door, who is struggling with a lot of serious issues. She is depressed, has very low self-esteem, etc. Its been a wonderful experience pouring out Christ's love on her and feeling like God is truly using me to reach out. But I am very weak and she has a lot of questions and feelings that don't have a quick answer--I can only help her so much.
So I'm having to grow in strength and stamina both physically and spiritually. Whenever I get grumpy and feel like a failure and want to quit I remember that I have prayed for God to pour me out, break me, and humble me. He has been doing just that.
I am having a lot of fun too though. Its not all work and no play. The games here are a blast, I get to paintball some, and the friends I am making are really awesome. I also am learning that liking a guy is not something bad...I guess I always thought before that I had to repress it inside me, try to kill it, and hope that maybe it would go away. But, I think God's been telling me: "Give yourself a break. You're human and thats the way I made you. So enjoy it! Don't do anything stupid, don't put any stock in it, but enjoy it."
So thats what I've been doing.
Something else thats been on my mind is how a relationship would work best for me. See, I've kind of figured out how not to do things. I generally learn the hard way, so thats no news to me. But now I've been pondering and praying about what the best way is...for me. I understand that people are individuals and what works for one doesn't always work for another.
I'm the kind of person that is so serious about relationships that if I think I like someone and they like me, I immediately start evaluating them as a potential spouse. Now, don't get all scared and run away, guys, because as creepy as that is, I've always known it was a fault and tried to not react that way. I tend to have a lot of internal battles when it comes to boys, if you haven't picked that up yet.
Well, I was thinking, if there was a way for me to separate in my mind a not-serious relationship and a serious relationship....then I could possibly do better about getting to know someone without getting to deep in a relationship. So I'm actually thinking about dating and then courting if things get that serious. Its an interesting thought to someone like me who has been taught a courtship mindset. But I do believe courtship is still the right way to go. Its just not fool proof and I have proven myself to be a little foolish before.
Anyways, that my self-relationship counseling for the week. Hopefully I'll get some other's feedback on that as well. For now, I've got the joy of the Lord and the peace that He brings for everything and anything that life will bring.
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